Proactive is better than reactive.
According to Swiss Psychologist Carl Jung’s Model of Personal Development, individuals develop over the course of their lifetime in three stages: first half, midlife and second half. The first half of life is dedicated to understanding the external world and accommodating the expectations of our many roles. The midlife is a critical transition period when the individual releases those personas learned in the first half and allows space for the true self to emerge. The second half is all about finding deeper significance of existence and shifting focus towards the inner world, ultimately accommodating yourself.
We believe the most efficient approach is to welcome the midlife as soon as possible in order to be proactive in living an aligned life. The sooner you shift your focus towards yourself, the sooner you can gain clarity on what you want and need. At Right to be Relevant, we’re here to help facilitate this transition into midlife and the second half, accommodating the authentic self and living a fulfilled, wholesome and aligned life.
We are all innately good.
The problem isn’t that there’s nothing special about you or you aren’t good at the right things. The problem might be that you haven’t honored your natural gifts and made them visible to the world. When you abandon your authentic self to meet others’ expectations, you are forcing yourself into discomfort. Think of abandoning your authentic self as choosing to abandon your dominant hand for no particular reason so you can write with your non-dominant hand. It’s awkward, uncomfortable and takes more energy. Similarly, when you create distance from who you innately are, you are making your life harder than it has to be.
The real version of you is what the world needs. The more you gain clarity on who you are and what you want and need in life, the happier you will become. Not what your parents want. Not what your boss wants. Not what would make you the “best” parent, woman, husband, or whatever other role you have. Not what would keep you out of your “friends’” gossip.
What do you want? What do you need? If you don’t make these wants and needs visible, who will? You are innately good, worthy, and deserve to be seen and heard.
It's all in the State of Mind.
Our State of Mind Model illustrates Ignorance, Awareness and Movement as the three stages towards becoming the best version of yourself.
In Ignorance, you lack information. In Awareness, you gather information.
In Movement, you take actions and make decisions that are aligned with the information you now have.
Think of it as crawl, walk, run.
These three States of Mind correlate nicely with Carl Jung’s model above, too!
First Half = Ignorance
Midlife = Awareness
Second Half = Movement
This model is the basis for the RLVNT Workshop, created to empower you as you navigate understanding yourself, gaining clarity, and making yourself relevant. We focus on applying the three States of Mind to your connection to Self, but you can use this model to describe the evolution of both individual and collective consciousness as well.
Connection to Self is the answer.
We live in a codependent society, where it’s common for individuals to subconsciously forfeit their autonomy over to other people and institutions to figure out how to feel, think and live. All too often, we identify as our roles and spend our energy showing up for other people but making ourselves an afterthought. Social media has created a need for external validation, and our dependence on businesses, institutions and leaders to show up for us has created an inherently victim-driven dynamic. Whether consciously or in most cases subconsciously, we have a very externally-focused culture where success is based on how well you play the game and check the boxes, not how well you live your own truth. This is all the perfect recipe for burn out, emptiness and victimization.
When you make yourself relevant and become aligned with your authentic Self, you accept total ownership of everything you feel, think and do without any need for external validation. It's badass.
Before you can truly love yourself though, you need to first make yourself relevant. The unfortunate truth is, many people don’t make either a priority then wonder why their life isn’t where they want it to be. Selflessness used to be (and still is for many) the ultimate compliment. But we need to do better and the good news is, we can do better. Not by selfishly ignoring others or taking on more, but by advocating for what you want and need in life in addition to accommodating others.
Our vision is a world where living authentically heals addiction, codependency, shame, self-doubt and the case of "not enoughs" many of us have to some degree. We dream of men and women fearlessly embracing who they are and finding the people, roles and environments that naturally compliment their true self.
The best gift you can give your family, community and the next generation is being your authentic self. If you are able to provide love and validation for yourself by yourself, you will then be able to show up for the people you love in an abundant and genuine way.
Self love isn't optional.
Loving yourself is where you start. And before you can legitimately consider loving yourself, you first have to see yourself as a valid, relevant human being who deserves love. Many think self love is a fluffy feel-good type of idea, or something you work up to after you achieve whatever it is you want in life. At Right to be Relevant, we know that self love and relevancy must come first if you want sustainable fulfillment and alignment in life. It all starts with you advocating for yourself, making yourself relevant...then the rest falls into place.
The most efficient way to achieve the life you want is to start by showing yourself the same amount of compassion and acceptance as you do your pet or best friend. Investing in yourself first takes patience and trust but it is so much more rewarding and sustainable than trying to “quick fix” your career, love life, health and everything in between.
We should all become curious kids again.
Ask why. Even if it’s something you’ve never questioned before. Especially if it’s something you’ve never questioned before. If it’s not serving you and doesn’t feel aligned, don’t do it. If something feels off, don’t do it. Lean into what you don't know and shine light on your shadows. If you don’t understand something, ask and dig and ask some more until you’re clear. Be curious. Be free.
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