My Roles Are What I Do, Not Who I Am

May 13, 2021

I was a florist this past weekend.

My first job as a kid was helping a florist out with weddings, so I've always had this skill and passion in my back pocket. I ran my own business full-time for almost 2 years before I started Right to be Relevant. Business was good, then I quit doing flowers cold turkey because I thought it would confuse myself and others(mostly) if I did two very different things at once.

I felt so insecure when people would say things like, "𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘴?! 𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘥 𝘥𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵. 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘶𝘱 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨!"

I let my fear of being misunderstood and judged drive my reality. I thought, if I can concisely say, "𝘏𝘪 𝘐'𝘮 𝘊𝘢𝘪𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘢 _____", then I will be loved, accepted, understood and respected.

It's hard to make sense of something to everyone else when it didn't make sense to me either. Turns out, 𝘁𝗿𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗺𝘆𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗱𝗶𝗴𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗺𝗮𝗱𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝟭𝟬𝘅 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗼𝗱.

.

.

I had to realize that I 𝗰𝗮𝗻'𝘁 possibly fit all of myself into a tiny, comprehensible box before I could now be able to say that I 𝘄𝗼𝗻'𝘁 either.

My heart wants to be a florist on Sunday.

And a writer on Monday.

An inventor and dreamer on Tuesday.

A friend and partner on Wednesday.

An affirmation-card-creator on Thursday.

A couch potato who does nothing more than be on Friday.

A thought-leader on Saturday.

An artist on Sunday.

I can be all of those at the same time. I can flow in and out of whatever I truly feel like doing. I can tune in and listen to what feels good, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦. I can be complex, multi-passionate, fluid. That's allowed. But only if I 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝘆 𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄 𝗺𝘆𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻.

The thing with roles is - they are not us. No matter which role I am fulfilling any given day, I am still myself at the core. My roles may compliment who I am, but they alone are not me. They are an extension of my authentic self.

"𝘏𝘪 𝘐'𝘮 𝘊𝘢𝘪𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘢 _____" might tell you what I do, but it's not telling you who I am. I am many things. All at once. Flowing in and out. I am a human 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴, not doing.

Thanks for reading. I hope you're being whoever you truly want to be today.

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